


can't deny that i want you (but i'll lie if i have to)

by beans



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, Drake references, Fluff and Crack, M/M, i love this honestly, theres no sex srry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 01:36:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2904497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beans/pseuds/beans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for Drizzy. my 1 and only<br/>Based off of <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/christopherguerrero/guy-best-friends-see-each-other-naked-for-the-first-time-and#.kiYEEk8nQG">this</a> video.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't deny that i want you (but i'll lie if i have to)

**Author's Note:**

> ya i don't know what this is i just got off work and im listening to Drake so

Louis feels Harry’s grip on his shoulder tighten.

“Loosen up, mate.” Harry whispers in his ear. “It’s not a big deal.”

Louis nods and sighs, listening in on the last of Zayn’s instructions.

“...so when Liam counts down from 5, start to take off your robes. Then, you’ll-”

“I feel like I’m in a weird gay porno.” Louis whines.

“Why is gay porn weird?” Harry says, brows furrowed. Louis ignores Harry, loosening up the tie on his robe. Zayn runs through the instructions once again, verifying that the two boys know what to do. They turn their backs towards each other and wait for Liam to finish counting down.

“And...action. Or five, I guess.” Liam stumbles.

“Liam.” Louis says blankly. Harry sighs and chuckles.

“Liam’s gone and ruined the first shot, hasn’t he?”

“Just go, we can edit this out. Get naked, please.” Zayn begs.

They rid themselves of the robes. Louis hears Harry turn around and stays frozen still. Harry clears his throat from behind him, tapping Louis on the shoulder.

“You gonna turn around?” He whispers. Louis squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head.

“I didn’t know you had a mole on your bum, Louis.” Liam says from behind the camera.

“That’s it! Robes back on. Liam, get the hell out.” Zayn says.

\---

“Hello, I’m Harry.”

“And I’m Louis. Today, we are going to be seeing each other naked.” Louis forces out. Harry lets out a little woo, smiling down at Louis.

“We’ve been best friends for about seven years, and we have yet to see each other naked.” Harry begins.

“Er, false. I see you naked all the time. It’s just never on purpose or mutual.”

“Anyways, today is the day we will be viewing each others beautiful, handsome, toned-”

“Get on with it.” Louis interrupts.

“Sexy, angel crafted and handsome bodies.”

“You said handsome twice.”

“Don’t care!”

They turn to their earlier positions with their backs facing each other. Zayn counts down from five silently, pointing at the boys when its time for them to remove the robes. Louis turns around this time, breath hitching in his throat. Harry clears his throat and laughs.

“Why are you laughing?” Louis yells, shoving at Harry’s bare chest.

“It’s just- I’ve been around you so much that I had an idea of what your penis would look like.” Harry giggles.

“And…?”

“And that is exactly how I’ve imagined it, honestly.”

“So you’ve thought of my penis.” Louis says, crossing his arms.

Harry nods, smiling wide. “I have.”

Zayn snorts from behind the camera, giving both boys a thumbs up.

“Does it not meet your standards? Is that why you laughed?” Louis accuses.

“Trust me, Lou. It’s meeting my standards.”

“Stop talking about my penis like that. Now.”

Harry laughs at Louis and takes his hand. He shakes it and says, “It’s nice to meet you, Naked Louis.”

“I’m sure it is.” Louis says back cockily. Harry shrugs and points to his own dick.

“Look.”

“What about it?” Louis shrugs.

“I shaved.” Harry smiles, petting over his thinned out happy trail.

“What the fuck. Zayn, can we stop? Harry’s getting weird.” Louis begs.

“No! This is gold, keep going.”

“So, um-” Harry clears his throat. “You look really good naked.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“Is this supposed to be awkward? I feel like this is really awkward.”

“Do you feel awkward?” Louis asks, placing his hands on his hips.

“Um- no. No, I don’t. Do you?”

“Yeah. I feel super fucking awkward.”

“Should we, like, make-out? Is this supposed to be porn? I’m confused.”

“Zayn?” Louis asks.

“This isn’t porn, you fucking knobs. Get your clothes on.”

“Oh, thank God.” Louis breathes.

\---

The video of Harry and Louis seeing each other naked went viral in a few days, other video artists contacting Zayn for questions and interviews. Liam signed Louis up for an appointment with a mole specialist and told him that ‘your bum mole is too dark. You need it checked out by a professional.’

Harry, on the other hand, has been wearing more clothes than usual. Louis walks into the living room with a jar of peanut butter in his hand and Hubba Bubba gum stuck in his hair.

“Harry, I napped with gum in my mouth.” He whines. Harry sighs from the kitchen and walks out to the living room where Louis is standing.

Louis freezes. “Why are you wearing a winter coat and scarf?” He says, pointing at Harry’s thick, black trenchcoat.

Harry shrugs, dipping his finger into the peanut butter. “It’s a bit chilly, don’t you think?” He says as he rubs his finger around the gum in Louis’ hair.

“The heat is on, Harry.” He says suspiciously. Harry shrugs again, pulling his hands away from Louis’ hair.

“Go wash that out. And get that mole checked out, please.” He says, walking back towards the kitchen to wash his hands without a second glance back.

\---

Louis eventually calls Harry out for wearing an awkward amount of clothes. Harry responds by extremely reducing the amount of clothes he wears. He walks out onto their back patio to show Harry a video when he trips over a naked body lying on the cement.

“What the fuck?” Louis yells, face smushed against his laptop screen. Harry’s naked, sweaty body underneath his vibrates with laughter.

“Why are you naked?” He says louder, picking himself off the ground.

“Doing yoga, mate.” Harry says, sitting up and spreading his legs wide with his hands on his knees.

“Why are you doing that.” Louis says flatly.

“Doing what? Harry says innocently, opening and closing his legs. Louis doesn’t respond as he walks back into the house, heading straight for a cold shower.

\---

“He’s trying to seduce me, Zayn.” Louis mumbles around a biscuit.

Zayn stares at Louis. “Is it working?”

“No.” Louis says. He pauses before saying, “Well, maybe.”

“I’m gonna tell him.”

“No!” Louis exclaims, a piece of biscuit falling out of his mouth and onto the table. They both pause and look at it.

“That’s fucking gross.” Zayn says. “Look,” He continues. “I know you like Harry. And the feelings are obviously mutual, considering he keeps flaunting his cock in your face.”

“What if he only wants sex, though? I don’t think I can do that.”

“Then suck his dick hard enough that his heart comes about, babe. He likes you, trust me. You just need to make a move.” Zayn says softly. Louis nods and pokes at the mushy, chewed-up biscuit on the table.

\---

“Liam, I’m literally trying everything. I showed him my cock countless times this week and nothing has happened.” Harry whines.

Liam hums and says, “Have you tried waking him up with breakfast in bed?”

“Why would I do that? That’s weird.”

“You could put a rose on the plate and stuff.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Look,” Liam says loudly. “Louis obviously wants sex. You obviously want a relationship. I just don’t think it would work.” Liam shrugs.

“Fuck you, mate. You’re no help.” Harry says, getting up from Liam’s couch.

“Try seducing him, maybe?” Liam says. Harry’s about to reply before his phone starts ringing in his pocket. He tolds his middle finger up to Liam.

“Hello?” Harry says into the phone.

“Harry? Er, it’s Louis.”

“I know. I have caller ID.”

“Oh, haha. Right.” Louis chuckles nervously. “Can you come home, like, right now? I broke something.”

“What’d you break?”

“The bathroom.” Louis rushes out.

“...You broke the whole bathroom?”

“Everything. There’s water everywhere.” Louis says. Harry groans before agreeing. He hangs up on Louis, flipping off Liam one last time before leaving.

\---

Harry walks into the flat with his shoes off already, prepared to step in murky bathroom water that’s probably flooded their apartment. He’s startled when he see’s that every single light is off.

“Louis…?” He calls out.

“In here!” Louis calls from his bedroom. Harry walks slowly to the bedroom, feeling around for a lightswitch. As soon as his hands catch one on the wall, loud music begins blasting from Louis’ stereo.

‘I ain't have sex in a long time… Are we havin’ sex tonight?’ The speakers blare.

Harry looks around the room in confusion. “Why are you listening to Drake? And why is it so loud?”

‘Let me do me, you just do you. I'm double cupped right now.’ The song continues before it stops all together. It’s quiet for a few moments before Harry bursts out laughing. Louis’ sitting in the middle of the bed, rose in hand.

“Why are you laughing?” Louis whines. “I’m trying to be cute.” Harry laughs even harder, tears springing to his eyes.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?” Louis responds. Harry nods through his giggles. He moves across the room to sit beside Louis. He throws the rose off the side of the bed.

“If it’s working, why aren’t your pants off yet?” Louis says while looking Harry up and down.

Harry grabs Louis’ hand in his, stroking his thumb around the other boys’ palm. He shakes his head and says, “I’ve been trying to seduce you since we recorded that video.”

“I know. That’s why I had to turn to Drake for help. I didn’t know how else to make a move.”

“Why Drake, though? Why didn’t you play Rihanna? I’m sure S&M would’ve got me in the mood real quick.”

Louis responds by pushing Harry down on his bed, hands going straight for his waist. Harry laughs into his neck while Louis unbuckles his belt.

“Louis.” Harry says softly. Louis looks up, face flushed red with anticipation. Harry continues, “I don’t want to have sex with you.”

Louis sits up like he’s been burned. “Oh.”

“No! I mean- like, I do. But not right now. I like you.” Harry explains, eyes wide. Louis deflates on top of Harry and breathes a sigh of relief.

“Thank God. I thought I’d have to suck your heart out of your cock.” Harry’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Let’s just save it. We can make it special, yeah?” Harry says, rubbing his hands up and down Louis’ thighs. Louis nods and rolls off of Harry to lie beside him.

“So what now?” Louis asks.

“We can listen to more Drake?” Harry suggests.

“Deal.”

\---

A week later, Louis finds himself face down on an examination table with his pants down. Harry’s in a chair beside him, one hand intertwined with Louis’ and one hand poking at his bum.

“Quit touching my arse. The doctor will be in here any second.” Louis grumbles. After a few minutes of mumbled arguing between the two boys, a blonde man in a white coat comes in the room.

“Hello, gents. I’m Doctor Horan and-” The doctor pauses and looks at Harry and Louis with wide eyes. “You’re from the video.” He says breathlessly.

“Um.” Louis says.

“Yes, we are.” Harry smiles as he tightens his grip on Louis’ hand.

“Oh my God. I love that video! You’re the- you do have a mole on your arse!” Dr. Horan exclaims.

“I thought Zayn was editing that part out?” Louis frowns.

“Um- Doctor, sir? Could we try to hurry this up a bit?” Harry says impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah sure!” Dr. Horan says before pulling up a seat between Louis’ legs. He inches his face closer to Louis’ bum, squinting at the small dot on his cheek.

“That’s a freckle. Are you two dating?”

“Are you sure it’s just a freckle? Because it’s kinda itchy sometimes and-”

“We are dating.” Harry interrupts.

The room gets quiet before Louis says softly, “We’re dating?” Harry smiles down at him, petting at his hair.

“Yeah. Sorry.” He says sympathetically.

“Why are you sorry?” Louis asks bewilderedly.

“Don’t know. I just am. Can I kiss you?”

Louis nods in response and climbs off the table, pulling his trousers back up around his waist. Dr. Horan is sitting in his chair with wide eyes, hands clutched together tightly. Harry presses his lips to Louis’ softly, arms wrapping around his waist.

“I feel like I’m witnessing history.” Dr. Horan mumbles.

Louis pulls back before saying, “You are.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/usethemboth)


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